Forbidden
by Isilme
Summary: Tohma keeps a secret. Ryuichi keeps a secret. A song is the only way to express their feelings for the ones they care most for. But what? Is it really forbidden??


Author's Notes: Hi everyone!! This is my very first Gravitation fanfic, one day I had some tiny idea, it developed and this is the result! It's a story about Tohma and Ryuichi's deepest wishes and their…musical consequences ^^ 

I need a beta-reader!! English is not my first language, so please don't flame me because of my mistakes, I've done my best! If you'd be so kind as to check it, e-mail me please!

Thanks to: Astaroth, my luv, who has written the lyrics of the song which is the centre of this fic. This is dedicated to you,sweetie ^^ The music is from Ayuki Hamasaki's "Seasons", 

you readers would love to hear it and see how it matches Astaroth's version!

Please R&R! Or else I'll get so depressed…Kizzes to all!

FORBIDDEN

'Hi, Tohma-chan! I'm paying you a visit, as I promised…', Ryuichi said when a maid let him into Seguchi's residence and he found his friend sitting at his working table. 

'Welcome, Ryu-chan', the President of NG smiled kindly. 'I'm glad you've come. Lately the studio is a mess, too many people going in and out of my office'.

'I think it's fun!! With Shuichi and the rest there, that place is more fun than ever!', he admitted.

'Guess you're right. Anyway, I need you to listen to something, and now no one's here to bother us'.

Ryuichi's eyes sparkled with joy; he took Kumagorou out of the blue and showed it to his friend.

'Kumagoro will listen too! What is it? Have you composed something new?'

Tohma looked dreamy for a while, which was not typical of him, then answered.

'It's not exactly new; the melody came to my head a long time ago but now…I believe it's time we find a lyric for it, if Noriko and you like it'.

'What is it like?', the brunette asked, enthusiastic. 

'I'll show you'.

Seguchi stood up and headed towards a keyboard placed on a side of his working-room. He started playing and a series of melancholic yet exceptionally beautiful notes came out of the instrument. Ryuichi sat still, dumfounded at the wonderful melody. The music was trying to tell him something, and the whole point of the question would be finding out what it was about. He was sure there was only one possible lyric. 

'It's great, Tohma-chan!' he cried as soon as he finished. 

'Thanks. I thought so and yet…well, do you think then it deserves a good lyric?' he sat down again.

'Kumogorou and I think it deserves _its _lyric. The one it was composed for'.

Seguchi blinked.

'But I told you, there's no lyric yet, what are you trying to say?'

'That melody is telling some story, it talks about some certain feeling, and we should respect that when writing a lyric'.

'You've always had a great feeling for music, you know', Tohma grinned. 'I could have forgotten that fact myself'.

'Noriko-chan should hear it; I know she'll love it'.

'I'll let her hear it tomorrow. She was busy today and that's why she hasn't come'. 

'The four of us will think about a message', Ryichi said.

'Four?'

'Kumogoro is already at it', he smiled.

At that moment Seguchi's mobile phone rang.

'Sakano-san?' he answered. 'What? Oh, wait a minute, why are…? Alright, wait just there'.  

He ended the call and sighed.

'Wait here for a moment, please. I'm going calm him down, he's a bit frenzied'.

'Where is he?'

'On the threshold'

'Then why haven't you told him to ring and enter the house?'

'It's my free day after all. No one's obsessions will spoil it', he smiled. 

'Don't be so mean, he's doing his best'.

'I'll be back in a moment'. 

Seguchi left the room, leaving his fellow playing happily with Kumagorou. Some minutes after, the singer stood up and wandered through the very big room. On the right side there were shelves full of books and cds, all of them meticulously arranged. On the left side, there was another table with some piles of papers and sheets of music. Ryuichi didn't want to touch anything, but he suddenly realized there was a half-opened door which he always had thought to be the door of a built-in closet. It seemed to lead to another room, and he just couldn't resist the temptation to go and have a look. 

He was astonished at what he found. The new room was small and far more messy than the contiguous one. Two big photographs hung on the white wall. One of them showed a young blond boy with merry green eyes and a wide smile, posing with a definitely younger Tohma Seguchi. The guy on the other one was far more recognizable: it was Yuki Eiri, looking cool, his eyes narrowed in a mysterious way. Ryuichi caught his breath, and his look moved from the photographs to the little wooden shelve on his right. As he expected, the whole collection of Yuki's works were there, neatly arranged. That Seguchi cared a lot for the famous writer, he already knew. But the very atmosphere of that secret room carried an equally secret meaning. He shivered: the place was full of peace and quietness; of pain, also. 

There was a table and a confortable chair on the left, and he saw an unrolled sheet of music on the top of the table. He couldn't resist the temptation of having a quick look at it, and when he did it, the first thing that struck him was the title of the composition: _Eiri_. Stunned, he studied the musical notes and realized that it was the melody Tohma had played just half an hour ago. The title itself made so much sense, when matching the music, that he wondered why his friend didn't have a lyric for it. "_It's _lyric", he thought sadly. 

'You see, Kumagorou', he muttered. 'We should go out of here; this is Tohma-chan's private place'.

He turned his back and went out of the room, only to find Seguchi standing there, completely frozen, expresionless. 

'I'm sorry, Tohma-chan', Ryuichi looked down. 'The door was open and…I'm too curious…sorry'.

Eventually his friend blinked and stepped forwards. 

         'It's OK. It's my fault it was open, so don't worry…' he said softly. 

The blond man's eyes reflected his sorrow for having been discovered. All his defences were broken down now. He headed towards the door of the little room and closed it with a magnetic card. 

*        *        *

The two men sat down on the sofa. 

          'Ryu-chan, you already knew, didn't you?' Tohma sighed.

         'We've been friends for a long time, after all. But it's not bad, you know, there's no way one can take control of this kind of feelings'.

Seguchi stared back at the shining blue eyes in front of him, somewhat impressed. Ryuichi could be the biggest fool in the world sometimes, but he knew very well when to be serious, and that was something to admire. Right now the brunette looked absent-minded. 

         'This is a weird feeling. That, no matter how powerful or famous I am, there's something lacking, and I will never have it', Seguchi said.

'I agree with you. Of all the fans crazy over us we may have, if I like that particular person nothing can be done. Yet it's better this way'.

'You're talking about…someone, right?', his friend asked, guessing who that someone could be. 

'But the two of them are happy together…it would be bad to interfere'.

'Well, Shindou-san would be flattered, at the very least'.

'So you also knew?!', Ryuichi's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. 

'No, I've just come to that conclusion', Tohma smiled. 'What if we write that lyric together? The basic situation is pretty the same'.

'I'd love to sing it. But what if they realize?'

'As long as no one else does, it would be alright'.

'D'you hear, Kumagoro?!! We're ready to finish the beautiful song!' he said, holding his rabbit and looking childish again. 'Oh, and Tohma-chan, what did Sakano-san want?'

'He'd just heard that Bad Luck's new single will be out with more than two weeks of delay…'.

'Oh, poor Shu-chan… that again…' Ryuichi's eyes lighted up at the mention of the band's name. 

'I don't think *they* are worried, but Sakano-san surely is. Plus, guess it's been too many hours since he last saw me', he sighed.

'Uh?'

'Now, let's get at work, Ryu-chan, this lyric must be outstanding even for us'.

'Ryu-chan always shiiiiiiines', the younger man hummed, cheerfully. 

*        *       *

When Ryuichi went home it was night already. He entered his apartment, built on the attic of a very big, fashionable building. Yet his place wasn't much unlike any other young man's place indoors; it was a bit messy, full of cds and magazines, videos and cables everywhere. Many times he'd thought that he only lacked company. And, from that magical day some months ago, he only wanted a certain pink-haired youth to be around. It didn't matter if he felt puerile or serious at the moment, he always felt the same, and it hurt him, probably in the same way it hurt Tohma not to have Yuki. Because of that, the lyric of the song had made its appearance on a sheet of paper in just a few hours. The message was there, they had only made the effort to take it out and convey it to a future audience.

_What will you do if you understand its meaning? I know you won't hate me, most probably you won't know what to say…But there's only *Yuki* in your heart. I can't fight that, I don't even want too. Yet it feels so lonely…_

*        *       *

Seguchi went to bed late, as usual; he thought about it over and over again: This time it'd 

been Ryuichi, but what if the next time it was Mika who discovered the secret room? A "oh, didn't-you-know-I-have-a-shrine-to-*your brother*-where-I-spend-more-time-than-I-spend with-you?" wouldn't solve anything. He had lied after all, he never showed her great displays of affection, or did anything else than paying for a marvellous, expensive life for her, which he didn't mind at all. And most of all, he had lied to himself, pretending to have married the girl *for love*, trying to forget the fact that Yuki was unapproachable and so he needed a reasonable way to remain close to him. 

_Eiri will notice the lyric, but he already knows. He'd known all this time, but none of us has dealt with the fact. Anyway, he's suffered enough in his short life, I can't even stop blaming myself for that, and still if Shuichi had never got into his path, I wouldn't have been so shameless as to tell him. When everything was my fault. _

*        *       *

          'This is pretty good, boys!'

          'We knew you'd like it', Ryuichi smiled. 

         'You could have told me earlier... well; anyway you didn't need my help, did you?  The idea for the lyric seems to have been quite clear from the beginning'.

The three members of Nittle Grasper were rehearsing the song in the studio. Noriko looked amazed, used as she was to her friends' skill. 

         '_Forbidden is a simple but accurate title, I think. I'm more worried about the message'._

'Message?', Tohma blinked, unbelieving.

'Let's see what the _happy couple manages to understand', she grinned._

'Tohma-chan', Ryuichi said, sighing, 'we're bad at keeping our feelings private'.

'Certainly', he closed his eyes.

'Like we'd not spent enough time together...I know you two better than myself'.

'What do you think Shuichi would do...?' the brunette asked worriedly.

'In case he caught the meaning, which I really doubt, he won't hate you or anything like that. He'd be grateful for your telling him'. 

'How do you know that?'

'I don't know it, I feel it. Remember I'm a woman. However Yuki Eiri is another type of person, I have no clue about his reactions'.

'Well I have', Seguchi said. 'If he had the weakest hypothesis, now he will know *for sure* why I married Mika, won't he? Then he may be mad at me, but I don't care. I have nothing to lose and I find this song-project very interesting. So forget about the possible consequences and let's perform it once again. It must be perfect'.

*        *       *

(In another room in the studio…)

          'I wonder what they're doing right now…'

         'Will you ever stop thinking about your idols and start concentrating in this single, please?', Fujisaki said, quite desperate for not being able to rehearse for more than three minutes without Shuichi talking about Nittle Grasper. 

'He can't help him', Hiro smiled a bit. 'Hey, Shuichi I've heard rumours. They seem to be rehearsing a top-secret song which no one knows anything about'.

'A new song?! Greeeeeeeeeeaaaaat!!', he cried, his eyes sparkling.

'You solved it, Hiroshi', the green-haired boy mumbled, leaning his head against the wall. 

The door opened, while Shuichi was skipping and running through the room. 

          'What are you three doing?' Sakano asked, stunned.

          'Shuichi has a fan-boy-complex attack', Hiro answered, patiently. 

         'B…But if it keeps going like this, the single won't be ready in spite of the delay. That's terrible, waaa!!' he started whirling and twisting like mad.

         'I just talked about Nittle Grasper's _secret_ new song, haven't you heard?' the red-haired boy asked. 

Sakano stopped right in front of him, looking even more nervous. 

         'A secret song? What? I haven't heard anything. But it must be great, Seguchi-san always is…' he said thoughtfully. 

'Yes!!!!!!!! Sakuma-san is great; the song will be wonderful, I'm so happy!!' Shuichi said. 

'I can't believe this,' Fujisaki complained again. 'Now we don't have one but two crazy fan-boys in here, if both of you don't calm down I'll be leaving!!'

'But I'm SO excited with the news! Meanie…' Shuichi responded. 

'Are we going on or not?'

Shuichi nodded, still joyful, and they went back to work. 

*        *       *

(In the evening…)

          'Shuuuuuu-chaaaaan!! Wanna have dinner?'

Ryuichi stamped into Bad Luck's room, grinning happily, and grabbed Shuichi's arm. The younger man was almost used to his idol's friendly attitude towards him, but sometimes he couldn't believe these situations were possible. 

          'Ha…have dinner?', he asked. 

          'And now he's deaf', Fujisaki whispered to Hiro, as they watched them. 

         'Yeah, it's late. Kumagoro's hungry', the brunette said, showing him his stuffed rabbit. 

'But I told Yuki I'd be home early today…', Shuichi started, worriedly. 

'It won't take us long. We just have something to eat, ok? Come on…'

_I know he's waiting for you, the "other" Ryuichi-the serious one-thought, as his happy face didn't show any pain at all. _

          'Ok. See you tomorrow, Hiro, Fujisaki', he said as he left the studio. 

          'Bye', they both said. 

         'Is it true you're going to release a new single, Sak…Ryuichi?', he asked, remembering he liked being adressed by his name. 

'Hai, you too, don't you?', he smiled.

Shuichi nodded, but he didn't want to ask Ryuichi about the "top secret" song. He wanted to hear it once it was ready. They headed towards a little, modern restaurant near NG Records, where they'd both been many times before. The owner was particularly discreet.

          The older singer took out his black leather jacket, revealing a white t-shirt which didn't hide his young, slender body. He talked to his friend about not very important things, his eyes never leaving the radiant (shining?) face in front of him. He'd been late to fight for Shuichi's heart, and another one had taken it. _Just stay with me a little longer, Shuichi, don't go back to him now. _

         'What time is it?', said Shuichi, when the had already eaten and chatted for a long while. 

          'Half past ten'.

         'It's this late already…Guess I shall be going, or I'll be scolded tonight. I'm just going to p…'

'Not at all, today I'm inviting my good friend Shu-chan', he smiled, winking. 

'Are you sure? Thank you! Are you going home, too?', the pink-haired boy asked, putting on his yellow sweatshirt. 

          'I'll go later, I think. See you tomorrow!', he waved as the boy left the restaurant. 

_I'm__ not in a rush. No one's waiting for me at home. He didn't know what to do. Never in his life had he felt so lost, so hurt…It wasn't Shuichi's fault, of course, it was his own fault, but at least…if he tried…he'd get an answer. He knew what the answer would be, yet he needed to hear it, to have a good reason to forget Shuichi in *that respect*. _

*        *       *

(Meanwhile, at the NG President's office)

_The song is almost perfect by now, we've even decided not to release it as a single at the beginning but perform it live instead. Is this matter going out of hands? Am I ready to face Eiri's reaction? This confussion doesn't suit me. I'm the boss here, and yet…_

Tohma signed up another paper from the pile which stood on the edge of his office table. It was really late. The documents could wait till the morning, but he didn't feel like going home that night. He could make up the typical excuse and Mika wouldn't worry. What he wanted was a moment of peace from which no one could awaken him. 

Someone tapped on his door, nervously, as he put his silver pen on the table. 

'Sa…Sachou?'

'Sakano-san', he sighed, 'what is it this time? It's late…'.

Bad Luck's producer looked really concerned as he approached the huge table. 

'I was about to go home, but I wondered…if you were alright…It's almost half past ten', he said, a bit flushed. 

'I'm alright, you see. I thought it was about the singles business again', he blinked heavily.

'No, that's not it…Sachou…'

'Don't address me like that'.

'Seguchi-san'.

'That's better. I've known you for quite a long time'.

Suddenly Tohma realized. It came to him as a wave of inspiration, as the definite proof in order to solve a mistery. Sakano was looking down, ashamed of always being such a nuisance, it seemed.

'I…think I'll be leaving', he muttered.

'Don't. Look at me. Sakano-san'.

The younger man obeyed and his gaze met the eyes he liked most in the world. Tohma smiled a little bit, and lay his hand over the producer's trembling fingers. 

'I envy you in one point, you know', Seguchi said softly. 'You're honest with yourself, and equally honest with me. That's not common these days, I appreciate it'. 

Sakano looked away again, blushing. He wasn't going to deny what he supposed Tohma was referring to. 

'You're too much of a fair-player to be in this noisy world of music producing, full of traps and lies. But don't worry, you're doing alright. Just go home now and get some sleep'.

'And you, Seguchi-san?'

'Me, I have some things to think about. I'll leave later'.

'Goodnight'.

_That's__ a good lesson, I believe. Even Sakano-san is braver than me. He knows what my response is, but he doesn't take back what he feels. His feelings are open and I value frankness. But now, I know I'm a great coward. I thought I'd lose Eiri if he knew, and that's false. I've never had him since what happened between him and Yuki Kitazawa. I turned his back on everyone, and perhaps, if only I had been strong and told him how much I cared for him…someday he would have been mine. I've never had him, so I can't lose him. I'll try, I'll do my best playing "Forbidden", and he will know. The time has come when I shall stop lying to myself. _

*        *       *

         'Another live concert, and with special backstage passes! It's good to be close to you both, brother'. 

'Opportunist', said Yuki Eiri, breathing out the smoke of his cigarette. 

Tatsuha Uesugi was thoroughly happy. He was going to watch and hear his beloved idol Ryuichi Sakuma and even meet him after the show. The concert was to take place at Nittle Grasper's favourite stage, the one where their career started many years ago. It was a small hall in comparison to the places where big festivals and concerts were held, but they liked the idea of presenting their new single there because none of the people they wanted to see would be missing. 

         'Ryu-chan', Noriko said, once she'd had her hair dressed. 'Don't do anything you could regret, you know'. 

He looked at his friend, a foolish expression on his face. 

          'Don't worry, Noriko-chan. Ryu-chan won't regret anything', he said. 

          'That wasn't the point…', she mumbled. 

 'Today I'm feeling quite wild, too', Tohma said, resting a hand on the other keyboardist's shoulder'.

'Even with _him standing there in the audience?', she smiled, unbelieving._

'Even'.

'Let's go and sing and have fun!', Ryuichi cried joyfully, placing Kumagoro at a special seat backstage. 

In front of the stage, Shuichi, his fellow members of Bad Luck -Sakano-san and Mr K. included- , Yuki and Tatsuha waited for the beginning of the concert. It was impossible to guess which of them was more excited, Shuichi or his _brother-in-law_. 

         'And you know him so well. Meanie!! I want to be acquainted with him too!', the younger boy complained. 'I've been his number one fan since I was eight!'

'He'll be happy to meet you too', Shuichi said. 

'Do you think so? Waaaaa, Sakuma-san…', he drooled. 

'Look, it's going to start!', Hiro said.

The coloured lightening switched on, and there were the three members of Nittle Grasper, making their start amidst the cries and cheers of their most loyal public. Ryuichi had already changed his foolish expression into the one of a great artist who knows that singing is the thing he loves most in the world. They performed some older songs, which everybody chorused, and finally, after the final chords of _Sleeping Beauty, Ryuichi spoke to the audience. _

         'Hey minna-san! We're moving onto the next song, it's brand new and you'll be the first ones to hear it. This goes for the ones without which it wouldn't be possible. Come on, think a little, you know _who you are. __Forbidden!!'. _

A slow tune began, played by the skilfull hands of Tohma and Noriko. And then Ryuichi _sang. _

_Angels spread their wings as you walk by_

_They surround you and you leave_

_Golden dust.___

_Everywhere you pass by _

_Why do stars suddenly appear_

_Every time you are next to me_

_I close my eyes and reach my dream_

_But then__ I wake up._

_If only I could look at you without being discovered_

_If only you could notice that I am alive_

_My love…___

_Our love is forbidden_

_No__ matter what I do_

_I can't change my feelings_

_I can't deceive myself_

_That's__ why I close my eyes_

_And__ dream of you and me_

_But__ you're with someone else_

_My love is forbidden._

Yuki was staring blankly at the stage, as if he had realized.

          'It can't be…', he muttered. 

Ryuichi had sang the last line of the chorus staring directly at Shuichi among all people. The pink-haired boy, however, was too stunned by the beauty of the voice and music to notice anything else, but his blond-haired lover liked to analyse every lyrics, and this particular one had hit him right on the head. 

_The day when I first saw you_

_You were running free and smiling. _

_You took my heart away with you_

_And now__ I cannot hide. _

_If only you could look at me not only as a friend_

_If only our hands could touch each other_

_Without looking back_

_My love…___

_Our love is forbidden,_

_No matter how I try_

_I won't say that I cry_

_Won't__ try to make you mine_

_That's__ why I close my eyes_

_And__ dream of you and me_

_But__ you're with someone else_

_My love is forbidden._

_Our love is forbidden…_

When the song ended, Shuichi was blushing terribly, though he didn't know why. Perhaps it'd been the way Ryuichi looked at him, and only at him, while he was singing. But was he singing to him or _about him? Yuki coughed the smoke of his cigarette. Why had that lyrics been written for? It surely had a meaning. Among the cries if enthusiasm and the applause from the public, his brother-in-law looked at him. He pretended not to notice, and glanced at Shuichi, who still blushed. _

          'Shuichi, I'd swear…I'd swear that one was for you!', Tatsuha cried in bewilderment. 

          'Why…? But…', he didn't know what to think. 'Er…Yuki…'.

His lover looked back at him, frowning.

          'Do whatever you want',

          'What are you talking about? Yu…Yuki!'

          'Face it or not, it's not my business. I think I have my own business here'.

          'What should I face?'

          'Sakuma-san', Hiro answered, equally stunned. 

         'Oh, no, tell me it's not true!!', Tatsuha cried, desperately. 'How come you've got all of them on you?'

'Look, that was the last song', said Fujisaki, applauding as Ryuichi and the other members of the band waved and thanked the delighted audience. 

'It's time to go backstage', Hiro said. 

Shuichi was completely flustered. Yuki was also there, he'd heard the song as well as he had, but still he didn't look upset. It was as if he was thinking about something else. Anyway, Ryuichi was waiting for them and Shuichi couldn't run away from truth. Did his idol really love him? Why had he chosen to sing it instead of telling him directly? 

*        *       *

         'You were great today!', Shuichi said as they met Tohma and Ryuichi in the dressing-rooms. 

'Thank you, Shindou-kun', Seguchi responded.

The President was aware of Eiri looking at him with narrowed eyes. _So he has realized,_ Tohma thought, _and now what am I supposed to do? _

Meanwhile, Tasuha introduced himself to Ryuichi, even having received such a hard blown with the singer's public confession. The brunette smiled and chatted with him for a while, then turned around and glanced briefly at Shuichi, who didn't look quite himself, for he was very silent. That hurt him. _Perhaps it wasn't a good idea after all, he thought._

Shuichi's heart ached. _Why?__ Why me? He's too nice, too famous, too gorgeous, why me? I like him very much, but still I'm with Yuki. Being with Yuki is painful sometimes, but I love him. My feelings wouldn't change that easily…I need to tell him, he deserves an answer._

         'I'm going out to the back entrance for a Coke. Does anyone want one?', Ryuichi asked.

'Me…I think it's a good idea', Shuichi managed to say. 'Yuki, I'll be back in a minute!'

          'Whatever', the blond man muttered. 

Both men left, leaving the rest of the group quite stunned again. 

         'It's very Ryuichi-like to do something like that', K-san told Sakano. 'He never thinks about consequences'.

Sakano-san hardly payed attention. That song was painful, he remembered the lyrics over and over again. He stared silently at Seguchi's smiling face, and noticed that he didn't stop looking at Yuki. Sakano sighed. Whatever it was the whole thing about, he had nothing to do with it. He'd already lost his battle. 

The two artists quitted the building and stopped before the soft drinks machine. 

          'Just…you were great', Shuichi said.

          'I guess it wasn't a good idea at all', the older man sighed.

         'Wh…what?', the pink-haired boy sat on a stone bench nearby. 'I mean, is it true that…that…?'

'I'm giving you a hard time now, I'm sorry'.

Ryuichi looked sadder than ever-not foolish, not terribly serious, just sad. He didn't have any hopes beforehand. 

         'No, I'm…glad you've told me. The song was wonderful. But it's just that I don't know what to…'

'Tell me what you really think, then. Tell me that you love him and I have no chance, that is what I already knew, I'm prepared to hear it', he smiled slightly. 

Shuichi blushed. _He's__ amazing, I don't know what to do. Yuki must be mad at me, he might have understood the song. He knows I'm all alone with the hero I have followed for a lifetime, he won't believe me if I say that I don't love Ryuichi back; I feel like a fool, no matter what I do, and I can't just break Sakuma-san's heart and go home and act as if nothing has happened. _

         'I like you very…very much, Ryuichi, but I'm with Yuki, and…Tell me, why…why me? Lots of people love you and would do anything for you'.

'I don't know, I just love you and no one else. I'm sorry for all of them, but that's the truth. I think I've got the answer', he said, looking quite hurt and starting walking away. 

'Ryuichi…we're good friends. I'm so happy you wanted to befriend me the first time we met, you mean…a lot to me'.

The brunette turned back and smiled, then approached Shuichi until his faces were very close. 

          'I would never make you cry, Shu-chan, don't worry too much about me'.

Their lips joined for a fraction of a second, Ryuichi wished he could have those sweet, young lips for himself; he wanted that slender body, that noble, loyal soul…But he didn't dare touch him any further; he stepped back, still smiling.

*        *       *

          'Did you expect me to say something?', the blond writer asked. 

Tohma looked quite serious, caught like a mouse in a trap. He had no way out now that he'd managed to send Bad Luck, Noriko and the rest of his visitors out of the dressing-room. Eiri had started smoking again. 

          'I expected you to be like this'.

          'I see'.

          'About Mika-san…', Seguchi started.

          'She would like to hear it, go on and tell her. She'll be delighted'.

          'I see I've deceived you after all'.

          'No. Not me. Her. I already knew', he retorted. 

          'Did you?'

          'I'm not interested in those who love me. I don't need love nor pity'.

_You've__ done a lot for me, hiding my secrets. You haven't hidden yours. Why are you telling me now? What did you hope for? _

          'But you need Shindou-san'.

          'I'm just ok with him'.

          'You love him'.

          'Those are not the words' 

          'How do you call that then?'

         'I tolerate him. Though I won't need to do it any longer, for he has his idol after him'.

         'You're really worried, aren't you? But I'm afraid Shuichi won't change that easily. If he hasn't given up on you until now…'

''I'm not worried. I think I'm going, there's no need to wait for the brat'.

'He's coming back', Tohma sighed.

'Iie'. 

'Tell me just one more thing, Eiri-san. Did you like the song at least?'

'It's not bad'.

'Thank you. I want you to be happy again, no matter if I'm left out. Last time it was my fault you were hurt'.

'Shuichi's waiting for you', said Ryuichi, entering the dressing-room.

Eiri couldn't hide his astonishment. He'd taken for granted he couldn't compete with his lover's hero. 

         'Come on, Yuki Eiri, he won't go with me, no matter how hard I try', he smiled. 'I'd like to be loved by someone the way you're loved, you know'. 

Yuki put the cigarette to his lips and they curved into a little smile. _That brat is a fool_. And he left the two friends alone. 

*        *       *        

          'Yukiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!'

          'Haa'.

The pink-haired boy walked towards him still blushing. 

          'I didn't do anything bad, I swear'.

          'Why?'

          'Er…why? You would have minded, wouldn't you?'

          'I didn't care. I told you I had my own business here'.

         'Sakuma-san loves me, but I'm not the right person for him. Now that I mention it, your brother must be wishing for my death'.

         'He said he was going to perform some voodoo'.

'Oh…'

'Do you want to go home?', Eiri said.

          'Hai'.

*        *       *

          'How was it with Yuki, Tohma-chan'

          'I don't know. A failure, perhaps? But I already knew. And you?'

Ryuichi took Kumagoro out of nowhere and held him tight, looking quite childish once again.

         'I kissed Shu-chan. Then I left. He was waiting, Kumagoro, waiting for his love. I don't want to be a nuisance'.

'You'll find someone else, Ryu-chan. Me, it's different. My love life has been a farce up to now'.

         'But…just know…what are we going to do? I don't wanna go home', his friend held his stuffed animal even tighter. 

          'I'm taking you and Noriko out for dinner'.

          'Iie, my dear _beau-frère*_', said another voice. 'I'm taking Sakuma-san'.

         'What? Ah! Tatsuha-san!! Have you been listening?', Tohma said, as he saw Yuki's brother enter the dressing-room. 

'Only the last sentence. Everything else, I got it from the lyrics, you know'.

Tatsuha smiled to Ryuichi, who was shocked at the sudden out-of-thin-air apparition. 

          'Then, can I take Kumagoro and you to some nice place for dinner?'

         'Ryu-chan, he's not very dangerous, I believe. You can go, it will be nice for you to spend some time with your craziest fan-boy', Seguchi smiled for the first time in the evening.

'O…Ok, Tatsuha-san, we're going', the brunette said, wiping off a tiny tear that had appeared on the corner of his eye. 

'Bye, Tohma-chan!'

Ryuichi waved his hand towards his friend, as he followed the teenager out of the building. Tohma put on his coat, too. _Another forbidden love, yet he's a Uesugi, he may get what he wants. Perhaps it's true that everything depends on fate. You can love someone for a life-time, but if he's not your fated one, nothing can be done. The sad thing is, I won't be able to forget you, Eiri-san. _

_That's__ why I close my eyes_

_And__ dream of you and me_

_But__ you're with someone else_

_My love is forbidden._

THE END

*_beau-frère_ is "brother in law" in French 


End file.
